On Kinder Transition (revisited)
I’m sure many of you in our Big Yard classes have the transition to kindergarten on your mind, and that your kids have noticed, and have begun asking questions about how it will be. I bet you have questions, too! You may be wondering how your child will adjust to a new environment, new classmates and teachers, and probably a very different routine and set of expectations. You might be wondering how what we do at Cottage will help set your child up for success, when our day here is so much different than what happens in a conventional classroom.
Well, you probably already know that a focus on social-emotional development in a play-based, child led environment is actually really great preparation for the later work of childhood. Children at Cottage are practicing self-regulation and empathy, learning to advocate for themselves and stick up for their principles, while developing fine and gross motor skills, balance, muscles, and other soft skills that won’t be easily learned later. And yet, there comes a time for every kid when we get ready for the next part of our educational adventure. For most kids, that’s kindergarten.
We have pulled a ton of school transition books out for you on the Big Yard shelves, and I’ve put a few of my personal favorites face-forward at parent eye level. Read them yourself, so you can find ones that echo the sentiments your child is expressing. I think you’ll find that the ones I think hit the mark are less about what a kindergarten is and how it’s going to be fun, and more about how kids who are kindergarten age will do some stuff that they know adults are not going to approve of, but they can be sure that they are not the only one, and their teacher may be cross but won’t hate them. I guess I think that kids’ biggest worries seem to be about being liked by other kids and by the teacher, despite whatever they do.
Here are a few titles for you to consider buying or checking out, and why I like them (and they’re not all available at Cottage):
Miss Bindergarten Gets Ready for Kindergarten by Joseph Slate
https://www.amazon.com/Miss-Bindergarten-Gets-Ready-Kindergarten/dp/0140562737
Now, you know how I feel about singsongy verse in a children’s book, but for some reason, this one feels just right. The kids, named from A-Z, do the things a kid does in getting ready for school, including crying and stalling and kissing her sister (looking at you, Fran Lister), so that part gets covered. But it also shows Miss Bindergarten working like crazy to have everything turn out perfectly welcoming, fun, and pleasant for her new class, and it just feels, well, nice. I think the alphabetical arrangement appeals to kids too, as they expect that learning letters is a thing they will do at Kindergarten, and the fact that they mostly know the alphabet already helps them feel prepared and successful.
Chrysanthemum by Kevin Henkes
https://www.amazon.com/Chrysanthemum-Kevin-Henkes/dp/0688147321
Chrysanthemum deals with a topic that was important for my son: what to do about other kids thinking you are weird. In the book, it’s her name, but for my son, it was his lack of interest in conforming to gendered dress at that time (hot pink knee-high socks, nail polish to look like a werewolf, wore a tail all the time). In Kindergarten, after he left the comfortable inclusion and appreciation he found at Cottage, he was immediately made aware of the ways conformity was expected. This book shows adults being supportive and standing up for the child’s regular self being great, just as it is.
Lilly’s Purple Plastic Purse by Kevin Henkes
https://www.amazon.com/Lillys-Purple-Plastic-Purse-Henkes/dp/0688128971
This is not a book about starting kindergarten and being a new kid at school, but about a kid who loves school, and loves her teacher, and who one day, makes a mistake., by being disruptive in class with her new toy. The teacher is empathetic and still holds good boundaries, which help kids feel safe. It also shows a repair being made between Lilly and her beloved teacher.
Countdown to Kindergarten by Alison McGhee, illustrated by Harry Bliss
https://www.amazon.com/Countdown-Kindergarten-Alison-McGhee/dp/015205586X
This one zeros in on the worry kids have wondering if they will be able to be self-sufficient enough to function on their own for so long at school. Will they have support, or be completely on their own? What if they need help? Is that allowed? Does it make you a baby? This sensitive subject is treated with humor and goodwill, allowing the kids reading to be in on it. They know, when they read it, that the protagonist is overreacting, and they love to tell you about how really, it is totally okay to ask for help.
Ramona The Pest by Beverly Cleary
https://www.amazon.com/Ramona-Pest-Beverly-Cleary/dp/0380709546
The Ramona books are as good as you remember them. This, the second in the series, sees Ramona start Kindergarten. Although some parts seem outdated (like 5 year olds walking to school unaccompanied), there is much about the emotions of a small person who just needs her teacher to love her, even though her big sister thinks she’s a pest.
Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus by Barbara Park (and the whole series)
If you are a grownup reading this blog, you are probably already a little offended by this book title. Are we going to go ahead and condone using what my kids at this age referred to as “the ‘s’ word”?! Yes. We are. Here’s the thing: Junie B. is not an entirely relatable character for most children. She’s transgressive, too transgressive for the kids’ taste. She says “bad” words, talks back to her teacher, gets sent to the Principal’s office, and in this story, even stays behind in the closed school rather than get back on the bus at the end of the day! She is living on the edge, and kids reading this are scandalized by her acting out ideas they have thought of but mostly would not dare to try. She’s just relatable enough so that kids know that she is not doing what she ought to, and they know what she is supposed to do, but they can also empathize with her reasoning. She makes them feel capable.
And they are. Kids are capable. One of the things I say all the time is, simply: trust kids. They live up to the expectations we set for them, positive or negative. When we have confidence that they will thrive, they mostly do. When we listen to them in their distress, we can mostly hear what’s wrong. Kids are people, and they are the experts on themselves, with us parents as a close second. That’s my best Kindergarten transition advice, to trust and listen to your kids.
Next time: helping your kids understand reward/punishment systems in schools without worries.