Dear grownups:
I wanted to capture our curriculum for the day to demonstrate how no single teacher or curriculum designer or even whole team of educators could possibly design something so rich and in-depth as this child directed, child created, play-based curriculum.
Read MoreThese days, a childhood like the one I had, surrounded by people I knew and who knew my family, isn’t a given. These days, we have to build our own communities whichever way we can.
“When you put on your Cottage apron, you step into this unique role. Put aside your preconceived notions, your judgements, your crazy morning, your childhood experiences, your fears, your hopes for the future. Acknowledge them and set them down. You don’t need them today”. What we create when we make that invocation is a container for a meditative space.
Read MoreOur kids are going to be fine, because kids learn whether you mean for them to learn or not. Learning is not contingent on our intentions, as anyone who accidentally taught their toddler to swear can tell you.
Read MoreYou know how when you ask someone how they are doing these days, they tend to say something like, “Good! Fine. Pretty much fine. We are okay. You know.” And then there is a pause where you both nod vigorously and either on the phone or in person, you both just take a silent moment to acknowledge that nothing and nobody is actually okay right now. It’s like our reflex to perform the tiny linguistic ceremony consisting of, “How are you”, “I’m good! How are you?” is so strong that at first, we just do it. Then we weaken in our resolve to maintain that veneer, and we admit to something a grade down from “good”. And then, standing in the blatant falsehood of our own mechanical language, we scale down again. It bears no explanation.
Read MorePre-Covid example: my child is making a scene at Target. My anger, frustration, and embarrassment make it look to me like the child is being irrational (or worse), instead of my being able to see that they are exhausted and hungry. When we get home, my co-parent looks at me fuming and gets angry at the children for upsetting me.
Read MoreI don’t know if you know this, but siblings enjoy fighting. It’s generally the parents who don’t enjoy the sibling revelry. Perhaps, if you’re feeling there’s something to prevent, solve or fix for your children, you can remember this.
Read MoreI pulled over the car. I turned around and spoke to my child. I told him that I was so sorry that that happened today.
Read MoreKids are people, and they are the experts on themselves, with us parents as a close second. That’s my best Kindergarten transition advice, to trust and listen to your kids.
Read MoreIt wasn’t until I lost her that I was called to recognize that teaching my grandmother provided to me. In the absence of her moving through the world, I had to give the thing she had been giving me. Instead of feeling like a part of me was gone, what I found is that there was a part of me I had not been aware of, which now insisted upon being expressed.
Read MoreI have a parenting pattern that I am not entirely proud of, but I want to tell you about it, because I like the last part. I also like that I am aware of a pattern that I do, because it helps me be mindful about it. Here’s the first part: I clean the house. Somebody makes a mess. I grouch about the mess, and then I clean it up.
Read MoreBless those teachers of teachers, for the benefit of those of us who think of ourselves as co-learners. I have learned more from those kids, who refused my bland pleasantries, than I ever could from kids who come in ready to please me, an adult with authority over their lives.
Read MoreThis evening, as I sit in the glow of graduation day, eyes dry from crying, I just feel so profoundly grateful for the work we get to do. And I mean all of us: the teachers, the parents, and the kids, too. What we do here is hard, emotional work.
Read MoreThis Friday is Cottage’s annual tradition of filling our kids with forbidden sugar and setting them loose in the sandy wonderland of the yards in the evening, also known as the Ice Cream Social. When I was a parent of an infant and a toddler, I was filled with social anxiety…
Read MoreEven grown-ups act impulsively. Our growing awareness of these behaviors, a lot of practice and a good dose of self-forgiveness, go a long way towards mastering these impulses. Admonition, “That’s not okay,” for example, may not be that helpful.
Read MoreI cast the kids as powerful giants in a land of vulnerable little creatures. We humans can dominate, when we so choose.
Read MoreWe work day by day to enact our shared ideals about valuing and prioritizing child led play, connecting with nature, trusting children as the drivers of their learning, within the structure of a loving community. We listen to the kids, both through their words and through their behavior. We respond, support flowing into the space where it’s needed, and then giving them room when they can stand on their own two feet.
Read MoreIn revisiting our mission statement this week, as we move into a new era, I read something new that had never occurred to me before. In the past I had emphasized the terms, “child-directed”, “social emotional development”, and “conflict resolution”, and that has served me well in recreating the mission on the ground in our classrooms each day. But this time, as I read, there was a different part that stood out, as if in bold print, for the first time.
Read MoreAmong the most distinctive aspects of being a part of the Cottage community is the way we talk to each other, and we call it Cottage Speak.
Read MoreMy daughter loves to hear stories of terrible fates befalling people and animals. Dog bites, broken bones, illnesses, car crashes, and pet deaths are all favorite topics. She asks to hear them over and over, many stories in succession.
Read More
